Holidays with the GW gang!
by Akira Yai Hiro
Summary: It's year one with the GW boys, what happens when Christmas, Halloween, and Valentine's day roll around? What else but good humor, scarring chaos and a little bit of violence? Oh the lovely holidays.


For the songs, it's much more fun to sing them out loud. Trust me!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"Deck the halls with boughs of bombs, fa la la la la la la la la. Tis the season to be crazy, fa la la la la la la la la la la la la la la . . . ." Duo hummed out.  
  
"Duo, for the sake of justice, SHUT UP!" Wufei screamed. Akkiko giggled.  
  
"C'mon Wuffles! It's Christmas!" Wufei brought out his sword.  
  
"Weak ONNA!" He screamed and chased after her, Akkiko squeaked and dove behind Trowa who stopped Wufei calmly.  
  
"Wufei, no hurting my girlfriend. Especially not on Christmas Eve." He said sternly. Wufei frowned.  
  
"Ridiculous holiday." He growled out. Akkiko grinned, ducking beneath Trowa's arm, she grabbed Wufei's shoulders, spun him around and kissed him full on the lips. Trowa became shell shocked. Wufei spluttered and began to spit away.  
  
"KISAMAA!! What the hell were you thinking onna?!" He demanded. She grinned and pointed up.  
  
"Mistletoe. You've been smacked!" And with that she walked off cackling. Trowa thought for a moment.  
  
"Well, it is Christmas spirit. Okay. Hey Akkiko!! There's mistletoe over here!" And he ran off. Meg sighed.  
  
"Once more, a disturbing holiday. Oh the horror." She muttered. Kat sighed.  
  
"If you think that's tough, try getting the perfect soldier to crack a smile. Hey Heero! Are you afraid your face is going to crack?" She demanded. Heero shrunk behind his laptop sweatdropping.  
  
"Yeah I can see you buster! Don't even THINK of hiding!" Heero shrunk even more. Kat growled, walked behind Heero . . . . . and yanked his ear.  
  
"OWW!! ITAI!" (That hurts!)He screamed as Kat yanked him out. Meg shook her head, Quatra was now administering the tinsel onto the tree, and Wufei was in the washroom gulping down mouthwash. Relena walked in.  
  
"Give it up Kat, I couldn't get him to crack a smile for a year." She muttered while setting down a plate on the buffet table. Dorothy followed her in, carrying a punch bowl. She set it down while Zechs stumbled in.  
  
"Why on earth did we come?!" He demanded from behind a stack of eating utensils, paper plates, plastic drinking cups, napkins, and a tiny bowl of cherries on top. Noin giggled as she walked in.  
  
"Now c'mon, it's a family Christmas."  
  
"Completely ignoring the fact that none of us are blood related except Relena and Zechs." Catherine muttered dully as she entered with hourdeurves. Sally behind her with what she called pigs-in-a-blanket. Whatever that was. Heero was now holding an ice pack to his ear.  
  
"Owww . . . ." He grumbled. Kat shrugged.  
  
"Serves you right you Scrooge."  
  
PLUNK!  
  
"AKKIKO!!" Heero screamed as Akkiko ran off laughing. She had dunked a Santa hat on his head over his eyes, complete with white fluff ball. Heero ripped it off and drew his gun.  
  
"DIE!" He screamed and ran after her. As soon as he was out the door, Trowa stumbled in, his cheeks were dotted with lips marks.  
  
"Room . . . . .dizzy . . . . . . .can't . . . . . think . . . . . . . goodnight . . . ." He mumbled and fell onto the couch. Dorothy rolled her eyes.  
  
"Men." She muttered. Wufei growled.  
  
"Women." He retorted.  
  
"Sexist!"  
  
"Lesbian!"  
  
"Wretch!"  
  
"Whore!"  
  
SMERP!  
  
Akkiko had come back, and had wrapped a ribbon around their two heads without them realizing it. Then, had pulled it tight, the result, both Dorothy and Wufei had kissed. The minute she let go, Wufei spluttered and ran for mouthwash again, while Dorothy ran for the bathroom. Akkiko laughed. Meg and Kat sighed in unison. The GW boys looked at them scared. It was their first Christmas with the trio after all.  
  
"Akkiko's job during holidays is to piss off as many people as possible. Because she knows we can't get mad." Meg explained.  
  
"Last year, she dumped snow in my shirt and then put thorns in my bed." Kat said dully. Then she grinned.  
  
"But I got her back. She found a pink chocolate in her pocket on Valentine."  
  
"Gee, I wonder how she reacted." Duo said dully. Quatra gulped.  
  
"That wouldn't have to do with the mass wreckage last year on valentines would it?" The girls whistled and looked away. Zech's gulped audibly. Setting down the plates he was about to run, when a rope flew from nowhere, and wrapped around his legs in a lasso. Akkiko grinned.  
  
"Yee haw! Ride em' cowboy!" She screamed while waving her cowgirl hat. Kat stared.  
  
"Where did she get a cowboy hat?" Meg shrugged.  
  
"Tis the season to be creepy?" Kat nodded, the two stared at each other for a moment. Then both took a deep breath and began to . . . . .yep. You guessed it. Sing.  
  
"Tis the season to be crazy, fa la la la la la . . . . don we now our weapons and armor, fa la la la la la la la- EEP!"  
  
"NO MORE LA LAS!!!!" Wufei screamed diving after them with his katana. Quatra stared after him. As soon as the three went crashing out of the room, in the collective silence that followed, Trowa stared, then said  
  
"La."  
  
"I'll get you later Barton . ." Wufei growled sticking his head back in. Trowa flinched. Laughing crazily, Wufei chased after Meg and Kat. Zechs stared.  
  
"Uh, a little help?" He asked carefully, Akkiko waved her hat.  
  
"And that's all she wrote!" She cried out gleefully as she showcased off a hog-tied Zechs. Wufei came back in, dusting his hands off. Meg and Kat had vanished. Wufei now drew his katana on Trowa.  
  
"Any last requests?" Trowa thought for a moment.  
  
"Yes." Wufei sagged.  
  
"What?!" He snapped, somewhat irritated. Trowa grinned wildly.  
  
"Dashing through the snow  
  
With a nutso China man  
  
Screaming as I go  
  
He's laughing maniacally  
  
With a katana in his hand  
  
He will kill if I don't run  
  
And I hope I get from Santa Claus  
  
That nice new shiny gun!!" Everyone stared at him in awe.  
  
"Whoa, nice rewrite!" Duo commented. Trowa bowed, then ran out of there screaming bloody murder as Wufei ran after him. (A/N: Thank you Kat, for the lovely (thought somewhat odd) song!! Happy holidays!!) Kat entered grinning. Meg behind her, both were covered in soot, and looked like they'd been to hell, back, hell . . . . . . probably not back yet. They grinned while looking at Akkiko.  
  
"SONG REWRITES!!" Then, to the horror of the other occupants, began to sing.  
  
"A crazy night  
  
Screaming with fright  
  
Now I run  
  
Into the night  
  
A Chinese man is coming to kill  
  
He's coming now to kill me  
  
Now I shall run for my life  
  
As Wufei runs with a knife." Wufei burst through the doors,  
  
"KISAMAA!!" He screamed, the three ran off laughing, once more to be pummeled. Duo grinned, opened his mouth and-  
  
WHACK!  
  
Heero put down the pan.  
  
"Don't even think about it." Then he looked at his watch. 11:30pm. OH heaven, another 30 minutes before this terror was over.  
  
"CORRECTION!" Akkiko cried popping up beside him, covered in soot. "28 minutes, 38 seconds and 500th seconds till midnight!!" Heero raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You have no life." Akkiko nodded vigorously.  
  
"YEP!" Heero scowled. Then, Akkiko grabbed him and kissed him quickly. He pushed her away shocked. She grinned.  
  
"Mistletoe! Heero Yuy, you have been smacked! That's three down, three to go." She said grinning and vanished. Quatra looked worried. So did Duo.  
  
"That means she still has three more people to kiss. So far she's kissed, Heero, Wufei, and Trowa. That leaves . ."  
  
"You two." Dorothy said quietly. "And someone else, but who?" Zechs hopped in the background.  
  
"HALP!" Akkiko chased after him, duck tape in one hand, toilet paper in the other. Dorothy ticked down her finger.  
  
"Well, that leaves two more." She said grinning evilly at the two boys who gulped simultaneously, and ran out the door. Akkiko finally pounced on Zechs. Just then, the door ominously burst open, revealing an ominous figure. Everyone stopped to look ominously at the ominous figure. It stepped in ominously and smiled ominous-  
  
"ENOUGH OF THE OMINOUS-!!" Kat shrieked.  
  
"Ness ness ness ness ness ness . ." Akkiko echoed grinning. Kat glared. The figure pulled back his hood and brushed himself off.  
  
"Sorry. I'm a little late I understand?" Everyone stared.  
  
"Uh . . . aren't you kind of . . . .oh I don't know . . . . DEAD??" Kat shrieked at Treize. Treize shrugged. Lady Une came in after him while shutting the door and taking off her coat. Wufei snickered.  
  
"Hey look . . . . it's . ." He snickered. "MIDDIE!!" Lady Une scowled.  
  
"Chang, in the name of all that's good and righteous and highly threatening . . DIE!!" She leaped at him.  
  
"AHH!!" He screamed and ran off. Treize looked around, seeing Akkiko on top of Zechs, he raised and eyebrow.  
  
"Peculiar position, are you engaged Zechs?" Zechs's eyes widened.  
  
"NO!" He blushed furiously. Akkiko grinned and snuggled.  
  
"I wouldn't mind-!"  
  
"HEY!" Trowa shrieked. She giggled and got off Zechs. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and winked.  
  
"No worries Osanago." She cooed. Trowa cuddled while Meg stared.  
  
"What does THAT mean?" She demanded. Akkiko smiled.  
  
"Baby. And you're Fukushin." Meg scowled and ran off cursing.  
  
"Uh, baby? Where you going?" Duo asked. Kat shrugged.  
  
"Probably to the computer to find out what that meant." Akkiko opened her mouth when a yell came out.  
  
"AKKIKO! HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT??" Akkiko snickered.  
  
"F-U-K-U-S-H-I-N!!!" Trowa smiled.  
  
"Well, I don't have to be Japanese to use cute talk, right my little Jaki?" She giggled, Kat on the other hand, gagged. Turning to Heero she glared.  
  
"You know, why DON'T you say anything in Japanese to me?"  
  
"Cause the only Japanese I use are insults . . . . . BIG insults." Kat rolled her eyes.  
  
"That and the fact that he can't woo anyone." Duo said grinning. Heero pulled out his gun and aimed without looking up from his laptop. Duo squeaked and ran off.  
  
"Baka." Wufei muttered. Dorothy had yet to return from the washroom. Heero glanced at his watch-  
  
"15 minutes, 30 seconds and 167th seconds!" Akkiko broke in happily. Heero sighed. It was indeed11:44pm. Apparently Akkiko was keeping track of time.  
  
"5 seconds, 4 seconds, 3 seconds, 2 seconds, 1 second! 14 minutes and 58 seconds! 57 seconds . . 56 seconds . . ."  
  
"Akkiko, you seriously need a life." Kat interrupted. Akkiko didn't reply, she was too busy watching her watch. Suddenly, a dingleball flew through the air and smacked Kat on the back of the head. Duo snickered and hid the other 6 dingleballs behind his back. Kat picked it up growling.  
  
"DEATH TO DINGLEBALLS!!" She cried and dove at Duo who yelped and ran off.  
  
"You won't win." Zechs hissed, sweat trickling down his temple.  
  
"Forgive me, but neither will you." Treize said as the stress grew. Lady Une watched in fascination.  
  
"GIVE UP YOU FOOL!!" Zechs cried.  
  
"NEVER!!" Treize retaliated. The entire room looked at them and sweatdropped.  
  
"A staring contest?" Wufei asked dully, his eyebrow raised.  
  
"GO Mr. Treize!" Une cried out waving little pompoms. Everyone backed away from her.  
  
"Creepy . . ." Duo said sweatdropping. Akkiko stared, then, once more, the door ominous-  
  
~ Interruption ~  
  
Kat: If I even HEAR the word ominous or ominously, AGAIN, I will kill!!! [stands over author with giant two-headed ax]  
  
Akkiko: EEP!!  
  
Meg: C'mon Kat, it adds to the humor.  
  
Kat: No, THIS DOES!!! [starts hacking away at little booklet of paper that is the script to this thing]  
  
Akkiko and Meg: And we're stepping away now.  
  
Kat: DIE EVIL OMINOUS-  
  
Akkiko: Ness, ness, ness, ness, ness, ness . . . *snicker*  
  
Kat: *blink* *blink blink* *stare* DIE!!  
  
Akkiko: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
~ End ~  
  
*AHEM!* The door opened . . . (huddles away from Kat) somethingly as yet another (glares at Kat) something figure stood in the ( . . . . must resist . . . . urge to . . . . . write . . . . word!!) something doorway. The hood fell back as . . . . . . . . a man walked in . . . .  
  
"Oh no." Meg and Kat said at once.  
  
"Hey babes!! What up dog?" The teen said in a semi-cheerful voice. Akkiko glared.  
  
"What are you doing here? And haven't you given up that talk yet?"  
  
"No way chick, it's like, outta sight." He exclaimed coolly, Trowa frowned.  
  
"Who are you?" The man smiled.  
  
"Why I'm Kat, Meg, and Akkiko's boyfriend of course." He said clearly not registering the note of danger in the area. Kat and Meg squawked angrily, while Akkiko cracked her knuckles.  
  
"WHAT??" Heero, Duo and Trowa cried out enraged. Meg shook her head.  
  
"Don't worry Duo-chan. This guy is just someone who saved us one time and now he thinks we owe him." She said somewhat annoyed.  
  
"And why did you need saving?" Heero demanded. Kat sighed.  
  
"See, Zechs was after us one time, and he wasn't exactly sane-"  
  
"Providing he's EVER sane." Meg muttered.  
  
"Yes, well, he wasn't exactly sane at the time and . . . . . well . . . he was chasing us. So we were running."  
  
"Why didn't you get Akkiko to fight him?"  
  
"Because he had a cross on him." Akkiko replied bitterly. "I still wanted to take him on, but Kat and Meg DRAGGED me away."  
  
"Literally." Kat said snickering.  
  
"So, this GUY comes in, and, I don't want to know how or where he got if, but he throws this pink tutu at Zechs, which for SOME reason makes him nervous. . . . *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* and then this GUY here thinks he owns us." Wufei turned to the man who stood there, still smirking.  
  
"What's your name?" Wufei asked. Akkiko, Kat, and Meg all looked at each other, along with the stranger, they all said at once  
  
"GUY." GUY smiled and went up to Akkiko.  
  
"Yo's Akkiko honey, still living the high life I see." He said throwing an arm around her waist, she replied with a scowl.  
  
"Why don't you just demon mode him away." Quatra whispered to Kat.  
  
"Because he keeps coming back and saying he likes a fiery chick."  
  
"Uh oh." Duo mumbled.  
  
"What?" Meg hissed at him.  
  
"Trowa's on the war path." Duo replied and ducked behind the couch. Meg turned to look at Trowa, who was indeed lumbering across the room with heavy footsteps. The rest of them proceeded to run away and hide behind anything possible.  
  
"Hey you! GUY!" GUY turned to Trowa, and smiled.  
  
"And who might YOU be brodher?" Trowa scowled.  
  
"I'm Akkiko's BOYFRIEND!" GUY frowned.  
  
"Then we outta duel this out like men ya? Okay, bring it on man." He said smiling, Trowa pulled out his gun and aimed it at GUY's head while clicking the safety off.  
  
"Consider it brought." Trowa growled. GUY gulped, then let go of Akkiko's waist quickly and dived behind Kat. Placing his hands on her hips he cried.  
  
"Protect me Kitty!" Kat scowled and attempted to remove the iron hold. Heero scowled, whipped out his own gun from the back of his jeans, then pulled a second from his shoe and aimed both of them at GUY's special place, you know, beneath the waist, between the legs, yeah I think we all get it now. GUY turned to Heero.  
  
"And what's your problem man?"  
  
"Kat is MINE!!" Heero growled while clicking the safety off BOTH his guns. GUY yelped, dove from behind Kat, to cower behind Meg.  
  
"Megsy babe! You gotta protect your lover!" Meg scowled, then went up to Duo and placed an arm on his shoulder.  
  
"Okay." She said smiling as Duo brought out a scythe. It had a metal tipped blade on the top. Wufei whipped out his katana, Quatra his twin sickles (Don't ask where he got those, but the Arab has to have SOME sort of weapon), Heero aimed his two guns, Trowa aimed his single gun at GUY's head while having three throwing knives in his other hand, Zechs leveled a HUGE gun at GUY while Treize brought out his sword. Une had switched her pompoms for a gun and all the others had guns as well, except for Catherine who stuck it out with throwing knives.  
  
"We may not love Akkiko, Kat or Meg."  
  
"But they are important to our friends."  
  
"So we're gonna have to ask you to leave."  
  
"Or."  
  
"We."  
  
"Can."  
  
"Do."  
  
"This."  
  
"The."  
  
"Hard way." They all finished. GUY gulped, then ran out the front door. Akkiko cried out laughing and jumped onto Zechs, kissing him in the process.  
  
"Way to go Zechs!!" She launched herself onto Quatra, kissing him, then, leaving him dazed, snatched Duo and kissed him too. That done, she blew a kiss to Wufei, Treize, and Heero then dashed off to Trowa.  
  
"Wait to go Osanago!" She yelled out glomping onto him.  
  
"Great acting Duo!"  
  
"No prob Lilyoes."  
  
"*twitch* *twitch* WHaT did you CALL me?!" She growled.  
  
"Lilyoes."  
  
"*twitch* *twitch* Duo. . . ." Then Meg sighed. Oh well. "Good job Duo- chan."  
  
"Hey! Heero!" Kat cried out, hands on hips, scowling. Heero shrunk back.  
  
"Yes Kiki?" Kat scowled, stomped up to him, grabbed his shoulder and proceeded to snog him. Letting go after a moment, she smiled.  
  
"Good job Hee-chan." Heero melted into a puddle.  
  
"No problem . ." Wufei scowled.  
  
"What time is it?" Heero looked at his watch.  
  
"5!" Akkiko was already calling out. "4! 3! 2! 1! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!" Heero snickered. Kat smiled, and the whole gang just grinned happily.  
  
"PRESENTS!!" Duo cried leaping at the tree, before-  
  
BAM!  
  
Floor meet Duo, Duo meet floor. Meg had grabbed Duo's braid and dragged him back.  
  
"C'mon Duo-chan. We have something to do first." Wufei scowled.  
  
"NOOOOOOO way!"  
  
"Yes way." Akkiko cried. "And a one, and a two, and a one, two three!!" The group, discluding Wufei, took a large breath and  
  
"Deck the halls with boughs of bombs, fa la la la la la . . .  
  
Tis the season to be crazy, fa la la la la la . . .  
  
Don we now our weapons and armor, fa la la la la la . . .  
  
Join us now in battle cries, fa la la la la la la la-"  
  
"BAH HUMBUG!!!" Wufei screamed.  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, I do not own. 


End file.
